Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Work is making me so crazy this week. Parents are so ignorant. Here's some advice/info for you so that you will not be an ignorant parent.

-A kid can go unconcious in ten seconds. From hitting the water to being pulled out, ten seconds. Don't let them out of your sight!

-Lifejackets are the devil. If you put a lifejacket on a small kid and they trip and wind up on their front, they will be unable to flip on their backs...and will just float on their fronts with their faces in the water...they're so off balance that half the time they can't stand up, even in waist deep water.

-Kids can bite holes in waterwings.

-Not all lifeguards are good! Remember my story about Girl who can't squeegie. Now if I'm guarding, you can trust me with the life of your child....but you don't know if that lifeguard is a hung-over sixteen year old who's staring into space while trying to decide if that guy likes her or not.

-Kids really can drown in a teaspoon of water. Truly. So a kid who can barely walk is probably not safe in chest deep water.

The moral of the story? Watch your children! Don't let them run around on their own, don't let their six year old brother watch them! Don't assume the lifeguard is watching them! Watch them! Do you want them to die? They will not be fine!